Idiotic Mumblings

Just an update

2010-05-06T01:18:00.000-07:00

WOW! It's been more than a year since I opened my blog! I read the last post and it was rather sad.

Well, I started this blog to force myself to write while I was having 'writer's block' (since I am not a real writer, I should call it 'writing block'), and reading back the posts I have written so far, I can see that it was (is?) a huge block.

I am really happy and think that it is very sweet of everyone who still bothered to comment on the earlier posts. (^_^)

To update everyone re the last post, Caesar passed away last year in August, of something that the doctor could not tell us (I'm sure it was because he did not know ~_~).

We still have 2 dogs with Pussy Cat being the latest addition. A rabbit was there in the picture for about 2 months but his owner took him away.

Roger King Bear, the rabbit who growls, bullies dogs and tries to fight humans. He is definitely one of a kind. Who has ever heard of an aggressive rabbit????

Pussy Cat was insecure for a couple of months but she is getting stable now. She can be very sweet, playful and loving when she is in a good mood. But when she is pissed ... let me just say that I seriously think she is the one who taught Roger how to growl!!!

Bella is getting really fat. She is still the same though she barks a lot more now. And she still steals food. Bella the Foodie. XD

I wonder when I will be able to take them home to Aizawl ...

Furry friends

2009-02-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

I adopted 2 street dogs - Bella Rabbit and Caesar Si-fi Sazu.
Bella was hit by a car. She's ok now. She's very playful, loving and naughty. My sister went to pick up Lalom before she went for her winter vacay to help her shopping cuz I was always too busy with work to go with her. Bella was crying under a car and they felt so bad for her and they brought her home. My sister, Senteii went home and I had to take care of Bella. Phew! the first week she came into my life was ... very tough he he... her hind legs were plastered and she had loose motion ... so every time she wanted to pee or shit she would cry and I would get up to help her. I thought I understood a bit of how a new mom would feel. Having to get up every 15 minutes cuz your baby was drying :). She's adorable.
Caesar - well Caeser was limping under a vegetable vendor's cart when we first saw him. Lalom and I were on our way to our friends place to have dinner. The vegetable vendor scolded him and Caesar was trying his best to run but with 3 out of 4 legs not working, he could hardly manage. And the begetable vendor tried to hit him. We felt so bad for him that we bought and gave him food. We were in high spirits and decided to get Bella a friend. She's always lonely and I didn't have much time to play with her cuz I have work and classes.Oh! one more thing about Caesar. His ears were deformed too.

Bella loved him. Bella loves him. The day we brought him home she gave him all her toys, bones and chew sticks :)

Now I have aa furry daughter and a furry son.

Caesar's not healed properly yet but his ears are getting normal. He was so malnutritioned and that is why he is the way he is. There is a big lump on his ribs but I am broke now so I can't take him to the vet yet. Hopefully he will be OK. His legs are healing as well.

I will put up their pictures here soon :)

I'm extremely tired now so i will get back with more furry stories later.

Apple

2009-01-28T05:59:00.000-08:00

I was going to write something smart when the boss walked in. Now I've forgotten it.

he he ... I'm seriously thinking of writing a book: 10001 excuses to make

It will cover excuses for getting to work late, excuses for not doing things, excuses for forgetting things and a whole range of situation that demand excuses, unless of course you want to be in deep shit :)

ADD out

Keeping Promises

2009-01-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

I should try to keep promises. I'm starting with the one I made to my blog about spending more time with him (yes, Him :P).

My life in the past couple of months have been very interesting ... is what i was going to start with. Then I remembered Ally McBeal (Yes, I am THAT old, whatever). On one of the shows, Georgia says to Ally, "Why is it that your problems are always bigger and worse than ours?" or something like that, and Ally says, "Because they are mine" :)

So I thought of cribbing about bad people, evil people, and all the other interesting things that have happened so far and I realised, who cares? It has affected nothing but my momentary happiness and has given me a few disappointments here and there but in the end ... so what? thats life ...

I have awesome friends and quite a few of them at that, I am never in want (ok! I want to be beautiful, have great figure, be rich and successful, own the world, blah! blah! blah! but you can't really count them as 'Want' want), a very nice boyfriend :D, and I have Bella - the cutest dog ever!

What exactly is there to crib about?

There are people who don't have friends to shout at :D, who have none to turn to when in trouble, have only their parents or parent if anything happens to them, all because they have been to evil with everyone else. AND there are those who are born to all this for no fault of theirs and some even have to deal with so much worse.

So I'm not going to crib about false friends and some parts of the family who make the word Enemy sound like Cotton Candy, or how things are unfair, or how I have to do so much and yada yada yada. Because after all this I have so much left that my cup overfloweth.

Its like I have this invisible shield that no matter how hard these TINY :) irritations hit, I somehow get away with so much to be happy for.

So ... WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!

Dear blog

2009-01-22T07:41:00.000-08:00

Hi blog,

Today my friend Roshni asked me if I have updated you recently and I remembered your existence.
I am truly sorry for forgetting.
You see once one starts to work and I don't just mean in a job, one starts to neglect the finer things in one's life - and you are fine, and get to a point where one forgets to remember. And at this point, one's life is so full of everything that one's short term memory starts to burn out a bit, shut down and go for a vacation for an unending amount of time.
I am truly sorry and I will try to visit you very often and never forget to remember you.

"If you aint got no money get your broke ass home"

2008-08-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

I live and breathe on the net most of my weekdays ... and i discovered this ... even in this virtual reality you can't have a life without money. How extremely cruel!

I had to research on Second Life a few weeks back. what better way than to sign up for it right? well, so I did and i got accepted as a club member of some club right away... not even a day passed and i was already invited for a party !!! YAY WOHOOooo :( i realised i had to pay 12 Linden dollars for entry ... i have zero linden dollars ... "if you aint got no money get your broke ass home" :(

yeah well ... stupid 3D social networking site ... all-hype bleh :P is my version of the grapes are sour.

a few week passed and i finally have the time to think about geo-politics. i had a vague idea of what it is. so i went to stratfor.com to find out why there is a 'geo' before politics (politics is something i'm just starting to get into BTW ... used to be bored by it and then that cute black guy Obama came along :D)
i found geo-politics quite interesting .. and this website has a lot of interesting information. i had to sign up for the juiciest information on the site
so i did ... atleast i tried ... yeah, i dont get to have the juicy information without money AGAIN
man you'd think that monthly rental for a net connection would be enough ... :(

HOW TOTALLY dumb of me ... but hey, i lived in a place where there was a 3 year waiting list for broadband connection and society thought (and i'm quite sure still thinks) that internet means chatting and chatting means wasting time ( this is the official explanation but the truth is this - they fear that their husbands and wives will flirt with fresh meat and that their kids ARE the fresh meat)

such is the world where one part has children knowing how to type on a keyboard before they can speak and other parts have children do not know what a computer is (i know.. i know .. i like to exaggerate a bit :P)

and though the distance may seem wide, reality and virtual reality have a very similar principle that is most essential to survival - "if you aint got no money get your broke as home"

the only question is this - where is this mythical home where i should get my broke ass to?

dreams of Bed

2008-07-31T02:23:00.000-07:00

its been a long time since i've written. i'll admit it. m lazy.

i have had many experiences since .. grew up a bit more, made loads of mistakes and did a little bit of dreaming.

here's whats on my mind right now:
"the brain - the most amazing machine ever invented, needs to rest once a day. though it never completely rests, it needs to rejuvenate every once in a while to perform well. when it is forced to stay awake, it has its own way of demanding that rest it requires. the frontal lobes is the first one to go. it stops working and makes any intelligent thought process impossible ..."

i am at this stage and i am sitting in office with tons of work.

i am, at this moment, not a very happy person.

oh! for a soft bed to rest my tired body on :(

a different reality

2008-05-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

i love the place i am in now. i am happy. sometimes i am free.

i was an atheist and now i have God. strange.

i know all the arguments, the doubts, the explanations to what i now know is God.

and i know for certain that i have a truth that is not visible to everyone. a truth that has shown me the true meaning of freedom. a truth that will take me home.

i know it all sounds cliche. i also know that those who walk my path know exactly what i'm talking about.

today, i have dedicated a domain to this part of my life that is so removed from my humanity yet completes it so thoroughly.

generally bored

2008-04-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

its 9 pm and i'm still at work ... how absolutely dull ... i am very much like those bored bachelors who stay back at work and sit on the computer doing absolutely nothing ... staying there just so that they dont have to go back to an empty house ... only i dont have an empty house to go back to ... and i'm still here ... blogging
how very dull :(
they say that all work and no play makes jack a dull boy ... i disagree
no space alone 24/7 makes jack a dull boy ... he has no time to collect his thoughts ... so privacy to get in-touch with himself ... he keeps hearing everyone around him and their voices are so loud that his creativity is stifled ...
ok i get philosophical when i'm bored ...
oh for just a few hours of privacy ... a space of my own ... a place where i can hear my own thoughts ...

And then the curtain falls

2008-02-20T05:41:00.000-08:00

Strange how things just warp out from in front of you and a whole new world just materializes out of nowhere. It comes when you don't expect it at all. you're there thinking that you're safe from all the madness, that for once in your life you have found a firm footing, that you're finally going to have what you want ... never knowing that one sentence away its all going to melt away. the illusion you have carefully put in place vanishes and you are forced to see the truth. Damn it! I happen to like rose-coloured glasses. they're pretty ... and pink... WTH.
Anyway, does'nt the saying go "Life's an adventure"? So then, adventure, here i am...
With arms wide open ... he he this is a season for plagiarisms :D

I miss my P.I.Cs ... Bilady liver won't even let me enjoy a little of Bacchus' divine blessings ... &*%(&^$^#*$^

New Life My Ass

2008-01-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

What is it with this place anyway? An extremist just like me :( Bone-chilling cold waves and I have to stay in a place I can't call home. Work? Minus the having to watch your back all the time, its quite nice.
Delhi sings to me: I pulled off your wings And I laughed
Bilady
Missing Bear ... wtf thats not supposed to happen
Missing Monkey ... guess this one is acceptable :(
I miss Lola too :((
Miss, miss, miss what the hell? This city takes away years of practice on (my warped sense of) strength.
The same sense of boredom lingers in the air.
Maybe its not the cities that are to blame. *&#@$%*&%#@$

...

2007-11-25T07:13:00.000-08:00

this is too funny ... the great pretenders ...
..............................................

Intrigue 1

2007-11-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

The city was cold and covered with early morning mist. She could only see the footpath beneath her through the heavy white swirling around her feet, the distance a mere breath away. A new city, a new life; in her excitement she did not know that this was a shadow of the kind of life waiting for her here. The notion of betrayal and intrigue had no place in her mind. Her echoing steps playing music in her mind, she smiled to herself. She was free at last.
A few hours before, she was sitting in her hostel room in another city down South, fearing for a phone call from that loathed voice. "Come out from your hostel. I'm waiting for you outside. Don't try to trick me. If you don't come to meet me you know what I will do," is what it would say. And she would wonder whether to stay put or go meet him. But what will happen if she does? He threatened her so many times. And if she doesn't? The last time that happened he sent people to break the glasses from her hostel window. Thank God she had shifted her room and that room was empty. There were broken glasses lying everywhere when the girls went down to take a look into the room the next morning. And this is just one incident.
She left without that phone call, yet she felt unsafe, unsure till the plane was high up in the clouds. Out of reach from anyone without wings. She was safe in the air. Her monsters did not fly and they did not book this flight.

Prayer

2007-11-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

they say asians believe in fate... they submit to it... asians-thats a huge generalisation
but its true for me ... M moving forward, pushed by the waves of FATE...
taking what comes to me, moment to moment... wondering if I will ever find solid ground...
everything seems temporary, like a passing breeze, a rainbow...
Prayer keeps me sane
Prayer keeps me from falling into the pit
that familiar pit, surrounded by swirling substances - of liquid fires of gold, of transparent shimmering white, of the colour of dying embers; by little balls of numbness and fantasies; of poisoned powders and broken hopes; of hopelessness
Prayers help me deal with the pain and the happiness, with hope and disillusionments, with life.
life - a joy, an adventure, a passion, a rest, an answered prayer...
when you see the people you love the most crawl in that familiar pit you crawled out from, you feel helpless. you try to reach them. you know whats at the bottom and you try to tell them that they should keep trying to crawl out... but they are too far away to hear you. it is then that you understand what it feels like to watch the ones you love die before you... then you pray
... and you feel the darkness fade. you know that they are in good hands
... and you dont feel alone anymore. you know you are in good hands
it feels so good to take the weight of your world off your shoulders ...
to realise that no matter what, you are exactly where you are supposed to be ... that you are left to fate...
this is what prayers does for me ...
whatever happened today, I will pray and it will all go away.
the main point is that prayer works... and though I am pissed and sick of a lot of things right now, M gonna pray my ass off n KNOW that tomorrow, its gonna get better.

madness seem an easy thing right now ... sanity is too exhausting...

?

2007-11-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

hah! living within layers of stacked concrete... it seems as though you're trapped in a time warp, where reality is a little bit different... the way it feels like during twilight... soft haze of dark-grey clouds swirling around you, cool breeze blowing whispers, and then suddenly... there is perfect calm... that calm is what it feels like, for a while...
when the light comes, it is another world, another reality... it feels like a cozy hospital room... or anywhere else that is sparkling clean, cold, sterile... when you have to stay for a while in a hospital room, you'd like to make your space a little cozy, warm, beautiful... and you create an illusion of comfort, sometimes broken by the harsh light... but enough of an illusion to keeping on dreaming...
and what of dreams?...

Ok, OK

2007-08-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

I made two people who give honest opinions read the story I wrote... dey both noticed i got bored and killed the story :D....
Lesson learnt: never try to fool your reader + i need to practise a lot more before another post :D...
But i loved it... dey read it.... whohooo :D... next time will be better hmmmm

Light of my hollow

2007-08-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

"I hate her," is what she's been saying for 17 years. "I have tried to forgive her, believe me, I have. But she keeps throwing subtle sarcasms at me and it feels like tiny needles pricking me all the time when she's around."

I listen to her patiently like I always do. This is her monster. I can't fight this battle for her.

Sara and I met last year at a friend's party. I asked her if I could see her again and she said, "Yes". The rest is, as the cliche goes, 'history'. Except there is one element that does not quite fit in to the 'history' title.

In our culture, when a boy likes a girl, he goes to her house, usually after an early dinner and 'date' her there. With her whole family around, I should add. This can be a very daunting task for any young man. And I was very nervous the first time I went there. Though she invited me.
What if her family hates me? What if her dog (cuddles) thinks I'm dinner? What if I say something stupid in front of her family? What if I spill the tea? What if ...?

There were a lot of 'what ifs' floating through my head while I was standing there in front of her door, wondering if I would have the guts to press the doorbell. A soft voice behind me said, "If you're not going to press the doorbell, could you move a bit because I will. I seem to have lost my keys".

That was how I met Nu Rini.

She rang the doorbell and I could hear cuddles' welcome from behind the door. "Are you afraid of dogs?"
"No." I would've said that if I was terrified of dogs. I'm not though, just not too fond of them.
"Come in, Sara will make tea. She makes good tea when she decides not to poison it."

That was how I got introduced to a battle of words and will that had been raging for over a decade. And now I'm standing right in the middle of the battlefield.

I could've walked away right then. I can still walk away from it now. If I wanted to. But I don't.

I love the way Sara looks at me when I walk into the room. I love the way she plays with her hair when she's day dreaming. I love the way she gets animated when she's angry - like now. I love being with her, even though her battles come between 'our' conversations. What can I do? I am a man in love.

"Michael! you're not listening. You're smiling while I'm talking about something that hurts me."

"Sorry my love. But you look so beautiful when you're angry." I know, I know. Cheesy line. But it always works. "Lets sit outside and watch the sunset."

I can't pretend to understand what she's going through. My parents are always busy with business. When we do get to meet, it is always a formal affair. Fighting is the last thing I'd do during the rare times I get to be with them.

"You're so lucky you have nice and mature parents. I wish mine could be a little like them."

You have no idea how I long for a little fight, a little misunderstanding ... than the hollowness.

a friend

2007-08-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

A ... friend of mine told me to write short stories... Sushma :)... I read her work and realized that I wasnt able to let go of myself completely when I write... So I should... Someone's encouragement can do a lot to the mind :D... well lemme try to start...
Its always scary to reach for the unknown, the unfamiliar... but I do it all the time... so I shall attempt it... ... ... Later ;)
there are passions that have been caged for a long time
it peaks out to the world between a seamless rhyme
the gate keeper fears setting it free
they may not understand
they may pull out the hem
of its sanity
and it will be condemned for eternity

Disjointed thoughts from a disjointed mind

2007-08-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

The Land of the Christians, or rather, Churchtians is what I long for in my dreams. A place I call home. The beautiful land where we "discover" hang-out spots we call "paradise" - sparkling spring water flowing... trees streaming sunshine in golden lines... where men are murdered by members of a vigilante NGO, men who do not see the inside of a jail for their crimes... (no, some get flowers put around their neck as a celebration to their being "Pasaltra"... i can just imagine the REAL pasaltra twisting with pain in their graves)... beautiful girls everywhere... beautiful girls who are blind to the skin, who only see clothes, who whore themselves to get a small piece of cloth called fashion to cover the loveliness they were born with... young boys full of promise who think it is "Cool" to be bad, to roam around doing drugs... Parents unwilling to let go of their own "Culture"... unmindful of the changing world and changing needs... the land where the clouds color the hills through sunbeams and moonbeams, and velvet breeze softly carressing your skin... and when darkness comes... look up and you will see diamonds strewn across the sky... look down and you will see diamonds, rubies, emeralds fallen to the land... like a secret, undiscovered land of treasures... look deeper... to the beautiful people and you will see the truth... you will see lies... you will see hypocricy... this is my land... these are my people... just like me.

Animals

2007-08-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

Its funny how people people can resemble animals so much... You have your camelians - those who change their colors according to the company ... You have your bats - they have a bad reputation but when you get to know them, they are really harmless ... And there are the lions - strong, proud, honourable, trustworthy... but the scariest are the snakes - smooth, beautiful, dangerous, sneaky... I've met my share of "animals" and all I can say is.... BEWARE OF SNAKES (mnot prejudiced against snakes. I love the real ones)... they are smooth, charming and they will swallow you whole for food.

the black

2007-07-25T00:39:00.000-07:00

Anger is usually identified by the colour red... "See red" .... what happens if you see black? ... with what colour would you identify blind rage? ... red seems kind of lame

So Far Gone

2007-07-13T03:11:00.000-07:00

People ask me why I shifted my course and I tell them 'I sold out'... did I ? Really? ......Hmmmm... then why the hell am I so happy with myself?...
I was always freaking out about my future before but now after my shift, I feel good. I feel like I am where I am supposed be. I am interested.
Funny how the answers I search for is always right around the corner. Funny how hard it is sometimes to recognise it.
Anyway my daydreams goes like this-
I start working - I will be in a corporate environment So I'll be wearing formals... can't wait to start shopping for it... I already have a couple of outfits I decided on... he he...
I get my pay - after which I head for the mall....pub...etc, etc... Basically blow my hard earned money up and repeat the cycle... he he
I'm so excited I can wait.... :P

Idle

2007-07-10T04:39:00.000-07:00

Its confusing sometimes when you think you are an adult yet you still are the same person....
What exactly is being an adult? How do you measure it? if you cant measure it then how can you tell the difference between someone who you consider an adult and someone who you dont (besides the obvious physical element)? yet another stupid line of thought from an idle mind.....

Moving Backwards

2007-06-04T08:09:00.000-07:00

I think humanity has spent its life force. I think we are moving backwards now as lifeforms. We have fancier tools, yes.
.... there was a time when there was a possibility of things turning out al right.... We are becoming more and more primitive in our ways.... more brutal.... less understanding... more fixed in our beliefs... less open....most places in the world have no proper drainage system... talk about drainage treatment....we are increasing and the world is becoming too small ...etc...etc... the pattern is there... Anyone who is bored enough to take a real look can see... it's not that hard to see...
What's the point in caring anymore huh?

Smoke and Mirrors

2007-05-29T03:21:00.000-07:00

It's all an illusion if you want it to be. The slights are imagined, the voices imagined, everything ugly is imagined. If you insist on seeing it your way or rather not seeing it your way... who's to force it from you? Who can? Just see the flowers, their beautiful shapes and colours. If they are drenched with dark red rain... then look at the trees. They have beautiful leaves and branches... like hands reaching out from the drenched ground...The blue sky filled with white cotton-candy clouds...sweet hysteria....There's so much beauty around...ignore the ugly...This can be a beautiful place if only you let it...all you have to do is insist on seeing only smoke and mirrors.

Blindspot

2007-05-26T03:11:00.000-07:00

Why have we reached this level of insensitivity as a race? Why are we not moved to action by the cruel deeds that gets perpetrated around us and in front of our eyes? Why do we work to run away from the problems instead of fixing it? Are we as a race doomed to slowly kill every scope of peaceful existence? Or has our bindspot just increased? If the breed of heroes have died out then atleast legalise weed because there are some of us who cannot watch helplessly everyday as this earthy paradise morphs to hell. Well.... not sober anyway.... I think eloquence (such as this) should be appreciated by atleast considering the proposal made (M taking to the 'Man')... Well, God gave us free will Who the hell are you to take it away? No point dwelling on it either... everyone's got a blindspot and legalisation of the Green is a blindspot for 'THE MAN'..... [ SIIIIGH ":( ]